From Hero to Zero

Hero

A person who is admired for their courage, outstanding achievements, or noble qualities.

In other words, me, obviously. Though I think it should mention something about handsomeness. And no, that’s not my opinion, but it does seem to be everyone else’s. How do I know? Well, simple; just put up your hand if you disagree. A very quick count gives the unequivocal answer of… zero hands. Given my enormous modesty I wouldn’t normally have brought it up, but even I can’t argue with facts like that, so I feel I should just acknowledge it and move on.

Zero

The number of visitors this blog has received today. Also, the number of visitors this blog received yesterday. Also, the number of visitors this blog received the day before that.

And no, you can’t comment on the hand count thing. Because you aren’t here. I’m the only one here and I definitely saw no hands in the air.

I did suspect this day would come. Obviously I nurtured a small hope that for whatever reason my blog would be instantly successful, followed the world over by millions of adoring fans… But, talking to myself was what I really saw on the horizon.

Now, if anyone did happen to drop by they might well ask, ‘Why are you still typing? Why do you toil, endlessly for such a non existent audience? Why not just put your feet up and have another cup of tea? (And actually, that is a very good idea!) Is there really any point?’ And, of course, there is. Or at least there might be. Because although no other people are here I am still not alone. My one true friend has not deserted me. I still have… Google!

My BFF

Yes, Google is reading my blog. Google is indexing my blog pages. Google is showing us for more search terms that are now mentioned in my blog. Google really cares! Google might even possibly think Bicclescombe Grange is a name more to be reckoned with now than it did a few months ago. Sadly Google doesn’t tell us what it’s thinking. It’s not a great bff.

But it also doesn’t seem to mind what I write, as long as I do. And as long as I keep doing it. It’s actually a great advantage to have an audience of zero – I can write whatever I like! I could talk about fishing! Actually, I can’t do that. I don’t know anything about fishing. But I can talk about what I do know about, and what my bff is looking forward to hearing even more about:

Bicclescombe Grange

A very large, luxury holiday home set in lovely grounds on the outskirts of Ilfracombe on the coast of North Devon. Sleeping 26 people and boasting an amazing indoor heated swimming pool and hot tub it’s perfect for any special birthday, family occasion or large group gathering. There’s a full size snooker table, darts, table tennis, big screen TV and so much more. If it’s your 40th birthday, or your 50th birthday, there’s no better place for a party!

So, don’t feel bad. And you won’t of course: Either you will actually be reading this and will instead now be feeling immensely virtuous. Or you won’t be, and you’ll never know that it was an option. You could even leave a comment, so everyone can see just how wrong I was. (And if there are no comments below then obviously I’ve deleted them all so that I don’t look stupid!) Me though, don’t worry, I’ll be ok. I know exactly what I need; I’m off to Capes R Us because somehow, being just an ordinary hero isn’t really quite enough.

Planning a special party or family occasion? Looking for the perfect venue? Our large Devon holiday home sleeps 26 and has an amazing indoor pool. To find out more visit the Bicclescombe Grange website.

2 thoughts on “From Hero to Zero

  1. VG! You do, of course, have two, devoted “friends”! Bon courage!

    Liked by 1 person

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